A parent’s illness is one of the most difficult challenges a child can face. Life at home change overnight and nothing is the same anymore!
What I need from you:
Don’t lie to me or protect me – I need to know the truth so I can trust you when you say ‘you are fine’!
- Don’t leave me out – I need to be involved in the family discussion, talk to me, and include me!
- Please communicate – I hear everything anyway and I don’t like to figure things out myself since I might get it wrong – talk to me!
- Don’t hide your feelings by sending a different body signal than how you feel – it confuses me when I have to second guess how you really feel!
- Give me special time every day – so I know you still love me and don’t feel alone.
- Take time to listen to me – so I don’t have to worry alone. Allow me to express my worry and sadness and talk to you openly.
- Speak simply and clearly – I don’t need to know everything in details, so please use a simple and factual language without looong explanations!
- Create shared happy moments – yes life is hard right not but let’s create meaningful and positive activities together
- Support normality in our life – I need routines so I feel safe.
- Don’t spoil me or make excuses for my behaviour – I need to know that I am still worthy of discipline and rules.
- Make me feel needed and valued – I can do so much more than you think; I can bring you tea, have chores to ease your burden.
- Don’t force yourself to be with me ALL the time – I would rather you spend time with other adults than feeling like a burden to you when you are tired. Get some rest so we can spend some meaningful moments together that we will both enjoy
- It is OK to cry with me – so I can cry too!
- Respect if I don’t want to talk – sometimes I just need to think, but still be with me!
From your child
This blog post was originally published on the Parenting Success website, they have kindly agreed to let us borrow it as part of our “motherhood and cancer” feature.
Parenting Success offer support to parents of children of all ages, sharing effective ways to overcome some of the most stressful elements of parenting, and helping them to enjoy the most rewarding parts, by tapping in to positive parenting.
They offer parenting workshops in collaboration with Samspaces to support brave and courageous mums, as they navigate the rocky road of being a mum affected by cancer.
Twitter – @samspaces Facebook – @Samspaces Instagram – @samspaces_safespaceaftercancer
Twitter – @parentsuccessco Facebook – @parentingsuccesscoaching